The hardest thing for me is disappointment – when it comes through trusting those around you to be fair, open, honest and just in their dealings with you. It hurts hardest when people, with whom you are in business or in whom you have invested a significant amount of time and energy, places you in harms way: physically, spiritually, financially or all three.
Its the betrayal that gets to me. I am as trusting as one can be with a small dose of scepticism thrown in so I can be normal and not naïve. Yet betrayal still hurts when it comes though I’ve told myself everyone has another side to their personality. It is particular circumstances which unleashes the monster hidden in them. I’ve experienced enough hurt from those I least expect for me to have learnt but I’ve come to realize no matter how much experience you have, you are never prepared for when it comes and from whom it comes.
It’s these individuals that makes it hard. No matter how much you think you know someone, there is this other side to them that you never see coming. The fact that you can be looked straight in the eye and be lied to, just hurts like a punch to the solar plexus.
So what do you do? What am I to do?
I’m tired. I’ve decided to forgive and let it go. I need to be free and I won’t remain tied to anyone and their negativity. But the hurt is still there, very real, very fresh.