To Rachel, my daughter

My beautiful darling girl!

I have waited so long for you that I often forgot that I desired you; I pushed the idea of having you away and made myself so busy that the empty space in my heart would be overwhelmed with activities. But that never lasts for long. I realize that no one and nothing can fill a place that was created just for you. On the days when your persistent beats flips my heart, I smile and hug the thought of you close to me and be comforted by the knowledge of your eventuality.

Today, I am being given the unique opportunity to communicate with your future self. A myriad of emotions and thoughts circulate in my head all at once, and I’m struggling to put them together as I have only 24 hours to communicate with you and I have so much to tell you!

Where do I begin?

I love you. I have always loved and desired you. Your father and I have wanted to create you, a representation of the best of us and our love, embodied in a physical being. I hope you have his kind eyes and my ready laugh! We argue from time to time that you will favour him more than me on the days when we don’t see eye to eye!

My prayer is that, as your name embodies that meaning, that you are pure. I debated bring a child into today’s world, so full of anger and hatred, spite and malice, pain, discontent and chaos. I wondered how will your father and I  protect you from the harshness you are bound to meet, the unbridled, senseless evil that defy explanation the seems to be the norm of this age?

But I realize that we have overcome and have found beauty in the midst of the ashes. I understand that just like our parents, Daddy and I will have to equip you with the tools that will enable you to appreciate the world as it is. Teach you to appreciate life and savour the moments of pure joy and happiness that you are sure to experience. To grab opportunities that comes your way, and to live a full, free and fearless life.

I need you to understand that life is full of beauty though some days may be overshadowed by the ugly. To find your peace, you have to pursue it and when you find it, take the time to absorb it into your soul.

Enjoy the simple things, my love. From a meal to the warmth of sunshine on your face. To the shared hilarity of our crazy family gatherings to a cosy, quiet evening with a good book. I love books so I selfishly hope you grow to love them too. We often take these things for granted and it is long after the moment has passed that we are able to appreciate them.

You will make mistakes but use them as tools to propel you to the next best thing. Give love, be open to receive love and understand that love will break your heart as quickly as it heals it.

There’s so much more to say. But for the rest of the day, please take the opportunity to speak to me. It is just as important to listen as it is to speak.

Your mother,

Donna Simone

 

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